Planned Parenthood Essay

Posted on: Mon, 07/01/2019 - 06:39 By: oliviadiaz
Analyzing the Communication Between Individuals on Twitter Over the Topic of.docx

Comments

 Honestly great job you included a lot of the right information. 

  • You explained your topic pretty well. 
  •  Your paper was very focused on your topic. These connections can be strengthened by keep backing up your point. 
  •  The visuals in your report were good and organized. covered your topic well
  • The format of the report is on point. Followed the example outline. I think you have to do a reflection? 
  • Keep doing what your doing, good read

  • The essay gave a good intro into how social media, and more specifically twitter affects the topic.  To strengthen the focus on the planned parenthood community, try to give a little bit more background on the controversy surrounding the foundation at the beginning of the essay.
  • The essay does a good job of staying on topic of planned parenthood and does not stray off to a broader topic.  To strengthen the connection with twitter, you could quote actual tweets that you gathered in the spreadsheet.
  • For the data, an additional code you could gather data on is the gender of the tweeter.  You could also turn the bar graph into a pie chart to visually match the other graphs to have a uniformed look.
  • After you introduce your methods, you can start a new section called "data" where you begin to introduce you graphs and begin your analysis of the research.  You could also indent new paragraphs for each of the chart explanations instead of numbering them.
  • The overall essay is good and it answers the connection between twitter and your topic.  The conclusion could have a little bit more depth and make sure the site the author's name in your paper.

  • Maybe you could add some more background information about the discussion of planned parenthood into your introduction. Use some secondary sources or current events to give the reader some more insight into the topic before the methods and analysis.
  • The discussion of planned parenthood is a large social issue right now so it is of social interest.
  • The analysis of the visuals could be improved upon because right now it is just stating what the graphs are depicting. Could talk about the implications of the data and how it connects to the topic of "diminishing support of planned parenthood." For example, the section on rhetorical appeal has the percentages, but doesn't really show what logos, pathos or ethos does for the discussion.
  • Overall, more connections between data and topic could improve the paper but everything else is fine.

The report analyzed and offered insights into the Twitter community. I would maybe add a little more about planned parenthood in the intro to just give the reader some more information on it.

 

  • This topic is something that is discussed on an everyday basis no doubt. I think the connection between the conversations and the topic are very strong as it is.

  • You could probably explain what the charts mean and go beyond just the facts that the graphs point out. The way it is organized works very well though.

  • I think the paper is very good overall, the only thing I would really adjust is the description for the charts, maybe an extra paragraph with some more details but that's about it.

1. One of the non-surface-level suggestions that I gained from the reviews was to create a deeper connection between the data and the topic, meaning describing the data in a way that shows how it impacts planned parenthood. Another non-surface-level suggestion was to not stray from the topic I am on to a broader topic, because then the essay loses focus. 

2. When analyzing my paper again and focusing on the non-surface-level suggestions, I realized that I could explain why the data has an effect on planned parenthood and why it is necessary for that specific data to be shown. As well as not moving on to a broader topic, I received a suggestion which said to mention the ongoing debate with planned parenthood today which will in turn help me stay focused on the topic of planned parenthood. 

3. As said before, when it comes to the visuals I am going to explain them more deeply and with more meaning. I am also going to make them all bar charts so that they look neater and are easier to read. Lastly, I will add a coding category of gender in order to see if it is men or women that are talking about planned parenthood and women's bodies. 

4. In the revision I need to: 

  1. Add more information of planned parenthood into the introduction
  2. organize the charts so they look more similar
  3. add a more in depth analyzation of the graphs in relation to the topic at hand
  4. add a coding category of gender and explain how that effects what is being said by that person
  5. strengthen my conclusion and make it end stronger