The intro does a good job of introducing twitter and the affects of hashtags, but I would take out the part about general topics mentioned in the first paragraph and just focus on your topic. The second paragraph does a good job of focusing in on that.
The essay does a good job of staying on topic while working in twitter and your sources. One thing I would strengthen is the explanation of the connection between your sources and your hashtag.
With the pie chart, I would narrow down a few of the topics so it is easier to follow along. With the tweet topics graph, I would do the same thing with narrowing down the categories the tweets are in.
The methods category could be cleaned up a little bit so it is easier to follow. Also make sure to make the names of each new section easy to read like bolding it so you are able to realize when you are starting a new section.
The overall paper is good, make sure to also expand on your conclusion. Also look over the intro again to keep it focused on your hashtag.
Suggestions:
- Be more concise (run-ons, in the methods section)
- Revise graphs
After re-reading my draft, I think I will revise some sentences in my first introduction paragraph that may seem unrelated. I will also look over my methods section to see if there's anywhere I can be more concise in explaining the process of downloading/coding the tweets. I also want to add more analysis of the patterns of the tweets either to my conclusion or implications section.
I will make revisions to my coding categories; I have combined the pictures/gifs/graphics categories into one: visuals. The pie graph looks easier to read and much more concise with four slices. I also have combined many of the topics I had listed in my third graph. I combined Trump, flotus, and the VP into one category and funding with donations.
Checklist:
Add title page
Add page numbers
Bold the titles of sections
Comments
Peer Editing
I would watch for run-on…
I would watch for run-on sentences, use more commas and puncuation.
You have a really good paper and i think you do a good job staying on topic.
Also you need to add a page number in the top left hand corner
Revision response
Suggestions:
- Be more concise (run-ons, in the methods section)
- Revise graphs
After re-reading my draft, I think I will revise some sentences in my first introduction paragraph that may seem unrelated. I will also look over my methods section to see if there's anywhere I can be more concise in explaining the process of downloading/coding the tweets. I also want to add more analysis of the patterns of the tweets either to my conclusion or implications section.
I will make revisions to my coding categories; I have combined the pictures/gifs/graphics categories into one: visuals. The pie graph looks easier to read and much more concise with four slices. I also have combined many of the topics I had listed in my third graph. I combined Trump, flotus, and the VP into one category and funding with donations.
Checklist:
Add title page
Add page numbers
Bold the titles of sections
Peer edit
I would try to use less run-on sentences.
on your media chart try to explain what the media showed maybe even use some of the pictures in your data analysis.
I really enjoyed your paper and couldn't find to much to correct.