- Add in section titles (Introduction, Methods, Data Analysis, etc)
- Nice introduction, maybe add in a sentence stating what you'll do in the essay (like a thesis statement) "In this essay, I analyze these tweets to see how...."
- When discussing how you narrowed down the tweets, I would be slightly more specific
For example, how did you decide if the tweets were random? (I would maybe state that they were not related to the subject matter)
- When looking at the information shown in the graphs, I would add slightly more data analysis/more explanation
- I suggest embedding the graphs into the text
- For the conclusion, I suggest relating the data/findings to your purpose, why is looking at this data important and why should the audience care?
I really liked your intro but I couldn't really find your thesis. You could begin you introduction with a hint to the reader indicating what your essay will be about (look back at the example essay)
Be more specific with your methods so everyone can understand how you got to your endpoint.
In your conclusion you could relate more to your twitter analysis and why it made an impact to your research.
I really liked your intro but I couldn't really find your thesis. You could begin you introduction with a hint to the reader indicating what your essay will be about (look back at the example essay)
Be more specific with your methods so everyone can understand how you got to your endpoint.
In your conclusion you could relate more to your twitter analysis and why it made an impact to your research.
Try and add a sentence at the beginning that catches the readers attention whether its talking about your topic or something that hints to your topic that you found interesting.
Comments
revision comments
- Add in section titles (Introduction, Methods, Data Analysis, etc)
- Nice introduction, maybe add in a sentence stating what you'll do in the essay (like a thesis statement) "In this essay, I analyze these tweets to see how...."
- When discussing how you narrowed down the tweets, I would be slightly more specific
For example, how did you decide if the tweets were random? (I would maybe state that they were not related to the subject matter)
- When looking at the information shown in the graphs, I would add slightly more data analysis/more explanation
- I suggest embedding the graphs into the text
- For the conclusion, I suggest relating the data/findings to your purpose, why is looking at this data important and why should the audience care?
I really liked your intro…
I really liked your intro but I couldn't really find your thesis. You could begin you introduction with a hint to the reader indicating what your essay will be about (look back at the example essay)
Be more specific with your methods so everyone can understand how you got to your endpoint.
In your conclusion you could relate more to your twitter analysis and why it made an impact to your research.
I really liked your intro…
I really liked your intro but I couldn't really find your thesis. You could begin you introduction with a hint to the reader indicating what your essay will be about (look back at the example essay)
Be more specific with your methods so everyone can understand how you got to your endpoint.
In your conclusion you could relate more to your twitter analysis and why it made an impact to your research.
Peer edit
Try and add a sentence at the beginning that catches the readers attention whether its talking about your topic or something that hints to your topic that you found interesting.
Try and add detail to to your method section
other than that I liked your paper
Responses I need to…
Responses
In the revision I am going to:
Add sections so it's organized and not in true essay format. Define my thesis. Format graphs differently. Expand my analysis. Edit for grammar.