1. To strengthen the focus on the community talking about the Green New Deal, I would talk about it more and explain more in the introduction to give some insight as to what the people are tweeting about when they are talking about the Green New Deal. Also I would talk about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez later on in the discussion and elaborate on what she thinks about these tweets as she created the Green New Deal.
(In the Second paragraph after the first quote put the year that it was said in parenthesis)
2. I thought the report did really well in connecting the twitter conversation into a topic of conversation (GND). The only thing I would suggest is focusing more on finding out why the tweets were saying what they did but other than that I thought it was very well focused on the GND.
3. Looking at the images that you had in your paper, I would focus more on organizing it so that the graphs appear after they are mentioned to make the layout fit and make the paper flow better. Also, I would try to elaborate more on the graphs and explain them as well as putting them into the paper.
4. The organization is good in the paper but again I think you should integrate the data into the words in order to make the paper fit better. Also, in the bibliography don't forget to delete the paragraph underneath the sources used.
5. Overall the big picture comment would be to analyze your data more and to elaborate on your analysis a little more in the discussion because it is a really good analysis. Also in APA style essays you need to add a header in the top left corner of the pages which says the title of the essay. Other than that it was great!
The essay did a good job of introducing the topic of twitter and how your topic relates to it. To strengthen it, I would give more insight into the issue with climate change and what the summary of the recent controversy has been so the reader can gain more background knowledge before reading the specifics of your tweets.
Yes, your paper connects to a topic right now that is always being discussed, and it does a good job of staying on topic. The only time it strays off is when you begin to discuss illegal immigration.
The visuals are good, but I would elaborate on them more and discuss how the data relates to tweeters of that topic. I would also go more into depth with why you chose each code and how those categories are effective with your hashtag.
Your essay was easy to follow and each paragraph coincided with the title of the section. The only thing that needs expanding is the conclusion just to circle back around on the overall findings that can be added on to your opinion.
The overall paper was really good and I was able to follow along really easily, just add more detail to the data analysis and maybe consider taking out the illegal immigration part.
The report analyzes and offers good insight into the community tweeting about the green new deal. I can't really think of anything to add.
The report connects to a topic that is a current event, as people are still talking about it. However, I would change the second tweet example as it is pretty vague and doesn't add much into the conversation.
The visuals are great, but you should compare them more and analyze them more in depth as well.
Format is fine, just take out the summary sentences in the bibliography
Comments
Revision
Hey Julia, I mean honestly your paper got revised in class so I'm kind of jealous.
Peer Editing
(First sentence 'see' should be 'seeing')
1. To strengthen the focus on the community talking about the Green New Deal, I would talk about it more and explain more in the introduction to give some insight as to what the people are tweeting about when they are talking about the Green New Deal. Also I would talk about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez later on in the discussion and elaborate on what she thinks about these tweets as she created the Green New Deal.
(In the Second paragraph after the first quote put the year that it was said in parenthesis)
2. I thought the report did really well in connecting the twitter conversation into a topic of conversation (GND). The only thing I would suggest is focusing more on finding out why the tweets were saying what they did but other than that I thought it was very well focused on the GND.
3. Looking at the images that you had in your paper, I would focus more on organizing it so that the graphs appear after they are mentioned to make the layout fit and make the paper flow better. Also, I would try to elaborate more on the graphs and explain them as well as putting them into the paper.
4. The organization is good in the paper but again I think you should integrate the data into the words in order to make the paper fit better. Also, in the bibliography don't forget to delete the paragraph underneath the sources used.
5. Overall the big picture comment would be to analyze your data more and to elaborate on your analysis a little more in the discussion because it is a really good analysis. Also in APA style essays you need to add a header in the top left corner of the pages which says the title of the essay. Other than that it was great!
Peer Editing
peer edit