Audio Essay Draft

The intro to your essay was great. The inclusion of Warren Buffet and Bill Gates into your essay added value. The volume on the expert clip was a little too loud compared to your voice, but that is an easy fix. Maybe adding some facts and research on multitasking and making sure that your argument on multitasking is clear could improve your essay. Adding another expert's voice besides Tim Hartford into the essay could allow for another point of view and more support. Overall great draft!

Your essay was very informative but at times the volume of your voice was low compared to the rest of the audio. Its a simple and easy fix that could got a long way. I found that having such successful people such as Buffet and Gates added some depth to the piece because they are so well known.

I especially liked your voice inflection throughout, it helped clearly communicate the material you were talking about. I also like the scientific background that you brought to the audio essay. I agree that decreasing the volume of the expert clip a bit would help. 

I thought you did a great job of switching between your own personal narrative and the evidence you found. The outside sources allowed you to tie in your entire point pretty well, and conveyed your message clearly. My suggestion would be to add some sound effects or other noises in the beginning of the essay so it doesn't come out flat.

I really liked how you started the audio essay with questions to the audience it was a nice entrance to your topic. Also, I thought your tone was perfect. I would add some music or sound effects to make this audio essay pop more. Overall, I thought this was a very good first draft and small changes will make it excellent. 

The script guides listeners through the topic well. In spots it feels a bit formal so you may be able to get a more conversational feel into the narration. I feel like a musical introduction and some other sonic elements might add variety. You can experiment with some noise reduction to work on the background which has a slight hiss. If you can find a way to get some outside audio into the piece in the first 60 seconds or so, it may keep things flowing. The volume level of the Hartford audio clips is a bit higher than the narration. I'm not sure the shorter Hartford clips are working as well as the longer one. If you can find an additional clip with a different source and see if it can be brought in to the first half of the piece and then maybe rework the Hartford shorter clips, it will create a better flow. Then some clean up and use of music or ambient sound can add more texture.