A little preface:
So my friend was telling me a story about a toxic relationship he had. She would repeatedly screw him over, but he didn't want to leave because he cared about her happiness more than his own. So wrote this rap. It's a little hard to rap along to if you do not know the melody. I urge you to listen to the music and read along to how you feel because the lyrics are very metaphorical, and I spent a majority of my time finding the beat and creating the lyrics to convey his pain.
Comments
Peer Review
I really enjoyed your video. It's very impressive that you wrote the poem, and I think the beat really complements the poem. I also really appreciate the way your video reuses imagery during the chorus. I appreciated how vivid the imagery was and the extent to which it corresponds with parts of the poem. As far as improvements go, I agree with Isabel. There were several instances where I did not quite have time to read the words on the screen. Overall, I enjoyed it, especially your originality/creativity.
Peer Review
Huge props to you on the content of the poem. I agree with everyone on how your music choice really elevated the piece. I at first thought you were going to rap alongside it, but I think it's powerful without it. Without any voiceover I found myself trying to study the images and text more which I think is more favorable for this piece. The only thing I would note is that some of the images flashed too quickly for me to really get a sense of what they meant.
Peer Review
You did a great job with this. I love the music choice and thought the text worked really well with it. I appreciate the time it must have taken to get all of the text set up and to have the text transition between each word or phrase so quickly. I would say the best things you could do going forward would be to use the adjustment tool to eliminate the black bars on around the video clips. Second, there are a few pieces of text that I would change the color of so that they are more readable.
I really like the way the…
I really like the way the musical track pulls the viewer into the opening of the piece. I also like the placement of the text. I'm not sure the layout of the clips on the canvas is working just right yet. At around 28 secs, I start to have trouble with the pacing. The tempo is keeping things moving, but I'm having trouble processing the text and feel like it could use more breathing room in terms of pacing. I like the sequence that begins at 56secs. The music really gives a nice foundation for the piece, and the mix of imagery is working well. You might need to do a bit more with visuals if you stretch things out, but working with the pacing and then giving the words more time an presence in the piece will make it really come together. Nice work.
Peer Review
This video was super powerful. The music you chose really helped to drive the poem and create a feeling of suspense. I also liked how you played with the way the words appeared on the screen (ex: “YOU” coming from behind the curtains), it kept it interesting. So cool that you wrote your own lyrics/poem. One suggestion would be to leave the words up on the screen for a little longer, so the audience can take in their meaning and also take in the image behind them. Overall, nice job!