Autumn, I think the alarm sound at the beginning triggered my fight or flight response. Waking up to it every morning has conditioned me to startle whenever I hear it, which is probably the same for many listeners. It was a good idea to use it along with all the other smartphone sound effects. This was so interesting to listen to, and something genuinely struck me. The guy that said "We use them to keep our own selves at bay" - that creeped me out because it's so true.
Sound-wise, sometimes your voice is super quiet and it gradually gets louder. I would also shorten the ted talk segments. Overall, your project is super creative and relevant, and the ending is perfect.
I like the amount of materials that are woven in here. I feel like some of the phone sounds in the beginning might be cut. Also, perhaps tone down the volume. The vibrating sound does well at exerting its presence into the essay, but I feel like the effect can be targeted to line up with one point, and then left out for the bulk of the piece to not distract too much from the narration. I like the stopping queue segment. I feel like it should be trimmed down a bit to a nugget of clip. The content of the narration is working well. The volume of the voice at times can be leveled out. You can watch the transitions in and out of the sample clips. In general the materials are well selected and woven together, so polishing the volume levels and fading in and out will really bring them all together. The Butler clip seems to be about the right amount. I really like the way the narration guides me through the topic, so working on the technical aspects of the piece will make it even stronger. I know I gave some suggestions, but I'm not sure the final statement is working quite optimally yet. You can think about it. Nice work.
Hey Autumn! I found your essay to be very interesting and thought provoking, and I thought you did a great job keeping the listener engaged––the alarm at the very beginning was a very clever touch. I also liked how you incorporated the background phone sounds throughout the duration of the essay, mirroring the inescapable quality that we have given to this technology. I would suggest editing the voice recording, it seemed to start very quiet and gradually get louder each time you started speaking and I found that to be mildly distracting. Other than that, I thought your project was really interesting and engaging! Great job!
Comments
Autumn, I think the alarm…
Autumn, I think the alarm sound at the beginning triggered my fight or flight response. Waking up to it every morning has conditioned me to startle whenever I hear it, which is probably the same for many listeners. It was a good idea to use it along with all the other smartphone sound effects. This was so interesting to listen to, and something genuinely struck me. The guy that said "We use them to keep our own selves at bay" - that creeped me out because it's so true.
Sound-wise, sometimes your voice is super quiet and it gradually gets louder. I would also shorten the ted talk segments. Overall, your project is super creative and relevant, and the ending is perfect.
I like the amount of…
I like the amount of materials that are woven in here. I feel like some of the phone sounds in the beginning might be cut. Also, perhaps tone down the volume. The vibrating sound does well at exerting its presence into the essay, but I feel like the effect can be targeted to line up with one point, and then left out for the bulk of the piece to not distract too much from the narration. I like the stopping queue segment. I feel like it should be trimmed down a bit to a nugget of clip. The content of the narration is working well. The volume of the voice at times can be leveled out. You can watch the transitions in and out of the sample clips. In general the materials are well selected and woven together, so polishing the volume levels and fading in and out will really bring them all together. The Butler clip seems to be about the right amount. I really like the way the narration guides me through the topic, so working on the technical aspects of the piece will make it even stronger. I know I gave some suggestions, but I'm not sure the final statement is working quite optimally yet. You can think about it. Nice work.
Hey Autumn! I found your…
Hey Autumn! I found your essay to be very interesting and thought provoking, and I thought you did a great job keeping the listener engaged––the alarm at the very beginning was a very clever touch. I also liked how you incorporated the background phone sounds throughout the duration of the essay, mirroring the inescapable quality that we have given to this technology. I would suggest editing the voice recording, it seemed to start very quiet and gradually get louder each time you started speaking and I found that to be mildly distracting. Other than that, I thought your project was really interesting and engaging! Great job!