The informal tone of the narration is working well. I feel like some tightening by just editing down the script of the narration will keep the flow going. For the visuals, adding more variety by cutting sooner to specifics that might be zoomed in on will also help to keep things going. For example, at around 1:28, the spreadsheet comes on screen but not much happens for a while. At around 2:10, the references to the categories are nice, but if you cut the clip and zoom in on those, or show them in a chart, etc. it will be stronger. In general, if materials are sitting on screen for more than fifteen seconds or so, you may be able to shift and link something up to a point in the narration with a new visual. Some of this will be helped by building more concrete points into the script that you can aim for with both the narration and images. There are some segments, where noise from bumping, etc. gets into the microphone. When re-recording, check the environment so the capturing comes through clearly. The segments going over the report do better at linking points to materials on screen. In spots--like around 4:10--if you cut the clip and zoom in on the chart it will be more compelling. At around 4:58, you can build in a transition. I like the points about memes at the end. It feels like the ending is too abrupt. The points about tariffs and about memes are strong. Some more work with the script, particularly tightening, as well as some work adding variety and linking content with the points in the narration will help bring the key points our more directly.
The informal tone of the…
The informal tone of the narration is working well. I feel like some tightening by just editing down the script of the narration will keep the flow going. For the visuals, adding more variety by cutting sooner to specifics that might be zoomed in on will also help to keep things going. For example, at around 1:28, the spreadsheet comes on screen but not much happens for a while. At around 2:10, the references to the categories are nice, but if you cut the clip and zoom in on those, or show them in a chart, etc. it will be stronger. In general, if materials are sitting on screen for more than fifteen seconds or so, you may be able to shift and link something up to a point in the narration with a new visual. Some of this will be helped by building more concrete points into the script that you can aim for with both the narration and images. There are some segments, where noise from bumping, etc. gets into the microphone. When re-recording, check the environment so the capturing comes through clearly. The segments going over the report do better at linking points to materials on screen. In spots--like around 4:10--if you cut the clip and zoom in on the chart it will be more compelling. At around 4:58, you can build in a transition. I like the points about memes at the end. It feels like the ending is too abrupt. The points about tariffs and about memes are strong. Some more work with the script, particularly tightening, as well as some work adding variety and linking content with the points in the narration will help bring the key points our more directly.