I like where this is going with the argument. I feel like the point is a bit subtle, but will be quite effective if the delivery is refined. Rather than the messages at the beginning and end that create a frame, can you build the whole thing around looking at a phone? Maybe start with a home screen and an alarm clock/event that says School in 40 minutes, etc. Move through the social media screens. And then end with an alarm being turned off and a message sent out to a teacher etc. This would be more like screens taking someone through a phone experience rather than a single app but would pull in viewers more if it builds the argument into the activities and moves away from spelling out the points on the opening and closing screens. If you can put something like this together, the aesthetics and other design elements can be amped up to really bring out the authentic of the experience. Eager to see how this develops.
I like where this is going…
I like where this is going with the argument. I feel like the point is a bit subtle, but will be quite effective if the delivery is refined. Rather than the messages at the beginning and end that create a frame, can you build the whole thing around looking at a phone? Maybe start with a home screen and an alarm clock/event that says School in 40 minutes, etc. Move through the social media screens. And then end with an alarm being turned off and a message sent out to a teacher etc. This would be more like screens taking someone through a phone experience rather than a single app but would pull in viewers more if it builds the argument into the activities and moves away from spelling out the points on the opening and closing screens. If you can put something like this together, the aesthetics and other design elements can be amped up to really bring out the authentic of the experience. Eager to see how this develops.