I like the game-based approach. I wonder if on screen 3 it makes sense not to be so explicit about the aims of the game, and to jump right in and let readers figure it out as they go. Some of the spacing around fonts, etc. can be polished. Some of the language can also be tightened. I also wonder if you can amp up the game-like aspects. For instance, after choosing a character, you can get sentenced. Then play again for what happens after release and job seeking--apply for different kinds of jobs, etc. You might involve the reader more by having the information be delivered as a result of game-like decisions. You might be able to even weave this in at the end--legalize, don't legalize. I think the messaging is on point, so seeing if you can build up the interactions may bring it out even more strongly. Nice work.Â
I like the game-based…
I like the game-based approach. I wonder if on screen 3 it makes sense not to be so explicit about the aims of the game, and to jump right in and let readers figure it out as they go. Some of the spacing around fonts, etc. can be polished. Some of the language can also be tightened. I also wonder if you can amp up the game-like aspects. For instance, after choosing a character, you can get sentenced. Then play again for what happens after release and job seeking--apply for different kinds of jobs, etc. You might involve the reader more by having the information be delivered as a result of game-like decisions. You might be able to even weave this in at the end--legalize, don't legalize. I think the messaging is on point, so seeing if you can build up the interactions may bring it out even more strongly. Nice work.Â