I want to make the transition between the intro music and the first section smoother. I also want to go back through and make sure there aren't any edits I want to make to the script. Furthermore, I want to ensure that I emphasize the correct word in each sentence.
Comments
The music pulls in the…
The music pulls in the listener well. The tone and levels of the narration are working well. There may be some smoothing to be had into the second clip. And then the levels may benefit from some fine tuning. There is a small sense in which things move a bit quickly--early narration and second clip. The weaving of the clips into the narration is all coming together nicely. I also like the way the piece offers productive tips at the end. The pacing might be slowed, and some fine tuning of the transitions and audio levels will help with the polish, but this is all working well. Nice job.
Feedback
This audio essay is fantastic! Overall, really great job.
What works well:
Your script is amazing. It flows logically and concludes very well. I am not left wondering what I should have achieved about the audio essay.
The clips are worked in well. They make sense where you placed them.
What can use some work:
Maybe use the same music to fade out at the end? Or just some variation of sound throughout. The talking is amazing, but I'd like to hear something other than flat voices. It would only add a dynamic to your audio essay.