Draft of CounterCartographies

Submitted by ifsmith on Thu, 01/30/2020 - 06:34
Share any concerns or aspects you'd like feedback on

Right now I still feel like I'm trying to get my ideas conglomerated. I don't think there is a good story arc yet and I'd like to keep thinking about how to do that while also still expressing the ideas in this draft. I'm curious to hear what resonates with people and what seems like superfluous information. This project has a lot of materials that I wanted to think about and discuss but I'm not sure if it got boring. 

 

Upload a draft document file
AEMP_draft.docx

Comments

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Submitted by Shawna Sheperd on Thu, 01/30/2020 - 15:33

Respond to any concerns or prompt the author listed in the posting.

  • I noted later in my feedback I was confused by the switch between third person and first person, however, the first person is useful to keep the audience engaged. Reading, I enjoyed your personal view more than just the third person academic work, so maybe incorporating your reaction to the academia would help keep it consistent and engaging.  

What did you feel to be the most successful element of the report?

  • I liked how the report was split by questions asking about the project. This helped clarify where you were going and simplify the reading process. 

Where in the report did you have any questions or confusion?

  • I was confused with the transition between intro and the second paragraph, a stronger transition sentence may help clarify this. (Or even switching the third and second paragraph might do this for you) 
  • I also hesitated at the switch between third person to first person experience once we got to the questions, maybe clarifying what perspective you want the report to come from would help address the story arch issue you’re concerned about as well. 

After reading the report, what might you like to know more about?

  • I would have been interested in seeing visuals along with this report (even hyperlinking certain texts to these portals or images) especially when it gets to the question “What does the Anti-Eviction Project work look like?” Your word descriptions are really thorough, so the visuals would just augment and clarify ! 

After reading the report, what aspects of the piece might you consider emulating for your own report?

  • I think the flow of this paper with the headings was extremely effective. I can see my report being augmented if I split it up into more centered headings and sections to work on my own flow. 

Share any other thoughts or suggestions you have.

  • I think your introduction was really strong. The outline of the mapping project and showing how vast (covering murals to exhibits, prints, etc.) shows that this isn’t an isolated project, but it conglomerates a lot of information. Maybe establish sooner than later how the housing and affordability is directly related to the tech world of San Fran, that way when you get into the anti-eviction project details it’s more of a story arch.
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Submitted by cschnitz on Mon, 02/03/2020 - 19:11

Isabelle, 

This is a really cool project to be profiling! I think the 5W's approach was a good way to get a draft done, but I might think about condensing those elements (especially because there are some redundancies between/within them) and building up to an extension of the current "How" section at the end, which I loved reading. Folding the who/what/when/where into more of a process-oriented discussion of how the project was produced and works to meet its goals could be an interesting direction to take this and might alleviate some of your concerns about it having a "story arc." I'd also be curious to hear about the real-world impact of this project—can DH projects really contribute to social justice efforts? 

Looking forward to seeing this evolve!

Carly

 

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